Jennifer and I made it out to the bike trail this morning to push through a six mile run. The conversation (when we weren't out of breath) covered all kinds of topics. There were the regular topics: "Did you see what she was wearing?!?" "Look at that form...how can you run like that?" "That jerk cyclist almost ran us over!" (Uh, I'm sure no one says that about me when I'm riding.)
But what we talked about most was leukemia.
Breaking the Cardinal Rule
When Carson was first diagnosed with leukemia it was a flashback to when Francesca was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. The shock of the diagnosis, the fear of what's to come, the crash course in treatment and side effects.
But after the diagnosis, when the haze in your brain finally starts to clear, you realize you are in a different world.
When Francesca was diagnosed with diabetes we quickly linked up with other parents who were going through the same thing. There are online communities sharing experiences of fighting high and low blood sugars, and exchanging tips on the latest products and techniques.
But the "leukemia club" doesn't seem to exist...and I think I know why.
I've never been very good at following instructions. One day while Carson was still in the hospital I sat down at the computer and did the one thing our doctor warned us not to do...I started searching the pediatric leukemia links on the Internet.
Bad move!!
Instead of finding a local group of parents going through the same thing, I found all the information and stories I really didn't want to see. The stories where the regular treatments aren't working. The rejection of bone marrow transplants. Relapses.
Talk about scary!! All the cases are different. Prognosis is different. This wasn't what I wanted to see.
I guess you could say my foray into the Internet world was useful, but not in the way expected. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I did come away with a profound sense of gratefulness for where we are in treatment.
Carson trying out a new look with Nona's reading glasses.Maybe I did find what I was looking for...a reminder that every day is a blessing.
Please remind me to follow doctor's orders next time!
Paul.
p.s. Carson heads back to the clinic tomorrow for more chemo. Please keep him in your prayers!!!
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You two are amazing and part of the reason Carson is doing so well! Be good "paitents" and follow orders - stay away from the internet :) Hang-in-there and know that you all are surrounded in prayers. Prayers for Carson, but also for you - to have the energy to deal with everything each day; from preparing endless requests for food to being there whenever needed for whatever reason . . . and oh yeah - Francesca probably has some needs along the way as well. Deep breaths and smiles - you're doing great!
ReplyDeleteJust a quick reminder that we're praying for *each* one of you individually and for God's healing Hands upon Carson! We hope Francesca's first day at school went well today. Love, The Links
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