The Gift of Chronos

I've become a fan of a certain blog on the fantastically funny disasters of life and raising young kids. I tell myself I can still read this blog. Even though I'm old, I do have at least one young child. Even though I also have a teenage girl, it is remarkably similar at times to having more than one young child.

I do really like this blog. It takes a humorous look at the joys and horrors of raising children, with a reminder that we're all struggling and it usually ends with a feel good, "now go get 'em, don't be too hard on yourself" ending.

Recently said blog posted a vignette about shopping in Target while her kids were running amuck and an older woman telling her "to enjoy every minute". The blog goes on to talk about how enjoying every minute is impossible, the doldrums of daily life and the fact that carpe diem is not necessarily the sagest of advice. A discussion of two types of time ensues

chronos: the simple marking of time and

kairos : the cherished moments when time slips away and you realize the value and importance of what's been set before you.

The ending of the blog closes by encouraging all us parents to "Carpe Kairos " instead.

After thinking it over for a few days, my response is Yes, BUT.......

Yes, I agree, BUT not entirely.

Two events come to mind.

December 1999 we spent two nights in the PICU watching 2 year old Francesca's blood sugar slowly come down and her diabetic ketoacidosis subside. While we were making plans about when our child would come home and how we'd begin life caring for a diabetic child, another child died each night on that ward.

July 2009, the day after Carson's diagnosis, we were walking the halls of the oncology ward early in the morning. Carson had a splint on his arm to keep the IV's straight, bruises marked his body from the lack of platelets, his shirt bulged with a swollen tummy from the dead leukemia cells crowding his liver and spleen, an IV pole dragged behind him as he rode the plasma kart.

Just in front of the elevators we encountered a couple heading to the PICU. The wife burst in to tears at the sight of Carson. Not because of the way Carson looked....they were on their way to end the life support their 3 year old son was receiving since he'd been brought in to the hospital after being found drowned in the swimming pool.

All these parents would gladly trade places with me, someone with the luxury of chronos time with their children.

"Carpe Kairos" is all well and good, but chronos is also a gift from God. I won't deny it, things get messy down in chronos time, but can't more kairos be found when we acknowledge that the chronos moments we receive are a gift too?

I suppose this smacks of the "quantity time vs. quality time" argument. Aren't they both important?

My friend who lost her 9 year old daughter to neurblastoma doesn't want to hear me complain about how "hard" it is during the daily grind with my children. She would love to have the same complaint.

My friend who lost her 12 year old son from an epileptic seizure doesn't want to hear it either.

I say this to myself as to anyone....

The temper tantrum at the restaurant is a blessing, the fighting and yelling between siblings is a blessing, the teacher conferences, the getting ready for church, the morning rush to school, the cleaning up of the spilled milk....

..............................a gift of chronos and the POTENTIAL for kairos.

How many times could my chronos moments have been turned into kairos moments with a change in my attitude and an acknowledgement of God's presence, even in that tired, agonizing, annoying moment?

I bought a t-shirt shortly after Carson began his treatment that reads "Today Matters". Simply put, it does. The chronos and the kairos together matter and one cannot exist without the other.

So, I can't say that I "enjoy every minute", or that every moment can be turned from chronos to kairos, but I don't have to wait for those kairos moments and then seize them. Those moments are already here if I take a moment to look around,

and they exist because of God's gift of chronos.