Monday, April 4, 2011

Opposite Feelings

Carson's clinic visit last Thursday was completely uneventful. Counts are heading DOWN, which is the correct direction right now. His ANC was 1500. Still mucking around with dosages....a small increase in the methotrexate to see if that pushes us closer to a steady 1000 mark.

We had our Vincristine push, we had our antibiotic infusion, we started steroids. An uneventful clinic visit is a good clinic visit.

At the same time, our hearts are breaking once again for another child lost to cancer. Please keep the Blairs in your prayers as very early Friday morning they lost their 8 year old daughter after a 4 year battle with neuroblastoma.

Words simply can't describe the feeling of being on opposite ends of the spectrum at any given moment. One child thriving and surviving while another's life is ending. Hope and happiness, sadness and pain intertwined at all times. How do you reconcile those feelings???

My only response so far is to remind myself that God has a plan - He is in control. I don't begin to understand, but will trust in His plan.

Proverbs 16:9
"We make our own plans, but the Lord decides where we will go"

and....
1 Thessalonians 5:18
"In everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

-Jennifer

1 comment:

  1. Your thoughtful, faithful response touched me deeply.
    It's so amazing that you are now part of this community of families living with pediatric cancer, instead of just focusing on your own family. I'm sure you do a lot to build community in the hospital, clinic, etc. God is using your family to witness to so many as you model the Christian response to these circumstances; and to minister to other families, including mine. Betsy

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